I can handle stress ,and pain, crisis after crisis, but my home needs to be my safe place . I need to know I can walk in the door and not be worried if I am "in trouble " Now Martin doesn't do that exactly, but he has bad days too, when those bad days string into 2 or 3 though , I panic, I am on edge and at odds . he has had a cold this week and well frankly been bitchy ! with his dad falling ill again , and my needing to rush him to hospital, I needed home to be, well my den, and Martins reaction to stress is to get more bitchy . I finally said to him "you need to stop, and explained that horrible panicked feeling I was having . Luckily I have a good hubby who even on his worst day does not want to put me through hell, so he listened and is actively trying to do better, but dang!
I know this post is not my best writing , but I am having a hard time keeping that scared little girl at bay at the moment . Writing this down does help , and as soon as I can draw a good deep breath I will likely feel silly for this being my downfall, till the next time .
Love to you all .
So what is your kryptonite super women?
4 comments:
My kryptonite is feeling helpless. Like I can't fix whatever is happening.
I get that feeling a lot these days.
and yes, my secondary kryptonite is most definitely HusBidiot. Because I allowed myself to love him, even now, when I don't, I still feel like a heel for hating him for what he's done to himself, and to us.
I used to look forward to coming home. That stopped in about, oh, 2001 or so.
I guess my kryptonite is actually me.
You have a way with words FV...I've been feeling my kryptonite this last week...it's being inadequate. Not being good smart pretty...whatever...enough.
And a messy house makes me crazy too! Hubby is a darling at most things, housework not so much. I just can't handle feeling dragged into hopeless squalor. sigh, a 34 foot trailer and 3 giant dogs, and sub zero temps, and working for crazy people who have my bestest friend having chest pains...that'll do it. Luckily I have 3 days off. Brushing up my resume and applying at another company, and going to a job fair in Dickenson with my friend on Thursday. Time to make a move. I can feel the 'bunny on the freeway freeze' creeping up on me, must outrun it, haha!
Good post Sherry. I don't know that I have ever thought about my Kryptonite.
I know the horses taught me early on to face my fears, with anger. If something scared me, I got pissed off about it. How dare you scare me! It's really hard to be scared when you are madder than hell.
Between that, having a man nearly kill me, having literally been to Hell and back & dancing with the devil himself Iin my visit- yeah, not much in life scares me anymore.
I know I am not invinceable, but I don't get scared. I don't run or hide, I just get pissed off and hit things head on. Maybe that is my kryptonite.
Anymore I am working on dealing with that too. I find myself shaking my head and saying, "Walk away. Just. walk. away."
In some hppy news, or maybe not- depending on how you look at things, I have finally found my word for the year.
Transitions
Seems there have been many so far and many more to come. With horses we look for smooth transitions- that's the best I can hope for in what is to come this year.
Love to you all.
In typing my previous post, and in talking to a friend,I had thought of the worst things in life I have been through. I realized that I have come through that fair enough- not much else out there worse than that... So what else has life got to throw at us? Bring it!
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